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HOW TO ENSURE GOOD RELATIONSHIP


Part One of Two:
Things You Must Do Independently



Take responsibility for your own
happiness. Save yourself several hours of
arguing by remembering this one rule: it's not up
to anyone else to make you happy. In a
relationship your partner will try to please you
and make you happy but in the end you are
responsible for your happiness.
Make good on your words. Follow through
on your promises. When you say you're going
to do something, do it. Don't say that you'll cook
dinner, or get a birthday present, and then blow it
off or simply forget about it. What this does is
systematically destroy trust. And relationships
need trust in order to thrive.
Admit your mistakes. If you know you've
done something to hurt your partner,
intentionally or not, own up to it. Humble yourself
and apologize sincerely, without making excuses
or justifications like "I'm sorry you made me
angry." you have to be responsible for your
actions and cannot make anyone else feel guilty
for what you have done or didn't do.
Commit to changing your behavior. If you
notice yourself apologizing for the same
mistake over and over, step it up a level. Tell
your partner that you recognized this mistake
keeps happening, and you want to train
yourself to stop. Request help and ask for him
or her to gently point it out to you when you're
making this mistake again.
Be honest. Honesty is what holds a
relationship together. Be honest about what
you like about your relationship, what you hate
and what annoys you.
Forgive. This is very important as it helps to
build trust between you. Also if you show
forgiveness they are more likely to forgive you. So
it is a win win situation.
Be realistic. Every relationship has
disagreements and days when staying isn't
the easiest choice. But what makes a relationship
healthy is choosing to resolve those problems and
push through the hard days, instead of just
letting issues and resentment fester. working
through your problems will help you be a much
positive person.
Review your expectations. Do you see your
partner as a person, with both winning
qualities and flaws, or as someone you expect
to be perfect? If your expectations are so
astronomical that no one could live up to them
100% of the time, you're setting up your
relationship for failure. Learn to embrace their
differences. You can learn a lot from them.
Accept that conflict happens. If you expect to
be in a long-term relationship, you're bound to
have the occasional disagreement. Remember
that one argument isn't the end of everything,
and there's no person on earth that you'd
agree with all the time.
Always ask yourself whether you're better off
in the relationship than out of it. If you don't
think you're better off in the relationship, then
you probably should have a serious discussion
with your partner. In a loving relationship, this
question almost always gets a simple "Yes."
Listen to your partner. Sometimes, all your
partner wants is for you to lend an ear and be
sympathetic about one of their problems. Other
times, your partner wants you to actively give
them advice. Know which one your partner is
looking for, and try to give them what they want.
Being a good listener is all about paying attention
to what they're saying and not blowing it off.
Listening to your partner will enhance your
relationship in many ways. It will help you
resolve differences without arguing; let you
explore each other's personality more deeply;
and even help you pick out an awesome.
Christmas present. There are no downsides to
listening.
Show your affection in whatever way
you can. There's a difference between
knowing that you're loved and feeling that you're
loved. Sometimes, we bank on the fact that our
partners should know that we love them even
when we don't show it. Don't rely on this too
much. The best relationships use affection to
show love.
Do something for your partner that you know
she will truly appreciate. Whether it means
getting up early to mow the lawn, taking the
kids to karate, or baking that nutella
shortcake, it's often the little favors that say
the most.
Don't be afraid to show physical affection
every once in a while. Loving relationships
feed off of the little kisses, hugs, and back-
rubs that are mainstays of affection.
Do the unexpected. It's one thing to kiss your
partner after you come home from work; it's
another thing to kiss your wife while you're
skydiving, falling 10,000 feet (3,048.0 m)
from a plane. It's the thought that counts, so
put a little effort into it for huge returns.
Be loyal. Make sure he/she knows that you
will always be there for him/her. Put him/her
first in your life as much as you possibly can. Not
that you have to only see him/her ever, or never
talk to anyone else, but he/she should know that
he/she can always count on you if he/she needs
something. Also, expect the same loyalty from
him/her. You deserve to feel prized in the
relationship just as much as him/her.
Do not ever hide anything from him/
her. Especially your feelings about him/her
and your relationship - whether good or bad! This
way you will be able to overcome all the
difficulties and challenges together. If something
bad happened in your past that still affects you in
the present, he/she needs to know about it. Note:
you should be able to discuss your sexual history.
It is an obligation before you decide to be sexually
involved with your partner. But you should make
them feel safe and not judgmental and you
should expect the same from your partner.
Give him/her some space. Everyone
needs their own privacy and some freedom,
so don't constantly watch everything he/she does.
Everyone hates to be watched, stifled and
controlled.
Do not ever spy on him/her (reading his/her
phone, stalking him/her on social networks,
following him/her around). If he/she is
cheating on you, you will find out. These
things cannot be kept secret for very long. But
if you spy on him/her and he/she is innocent,
you will lose his trust and respect forever.
Express your feelings towards him/her.
Always remind him/her of how much they
mean to you, and what they represent to you.
Women are not the only ones who need
expressions of love and care, men need that too.
If you have a problem, you need to let him/her
know - preferably in a clear and calm manner
without any yelling. If he says `Are you OK?`
and you answer yes, do not expect him to
understand that you really meant no. Be
honest and open.
Let him/her know it is safe to open up to you
about what he is feeling. Reward his/her trust
in you by sympathizing with him/her and, but
you don`t need to say much, just listen.
Don't be afraid to lose him/her or spend every
minute fearing the huge pain that that might
cause you. Enjoy each wonderful moment as it
happens, and realize that there will never be
another one just like it.
Never be pathetic and needy just to make
him/her pay attention to you and give you
sympathy.
A solid relationship should be based on
mutual respect; if you are constantly trying to
pull him/her down with you, this means you
don`t respect him /her enough to want him/
her to be happy. If you are depressed, see a
doctor - don`t pull some guy/girl into your
problems.
Encourage him/her. So that he/she can be
more successful at work or study. That will
make him/her realise how much you care about
his/her future and wish that he/she'd become one
of the best. It will also make his/her feeling
towards you grow even stronger, and he/she will
believe that you're ready to support him/her on
anything he/she does.
Always make sure to notice your
partner and compliment them. It will
make them feel appreciated.Has your partner got
a new dress or has changed their hairstyle? Tell
them your suggestions about it. It will make their
day.
Sweet talking. A simple 'Good morning
Beautiful/Handsome' would be an amazing
start to your partner's day. Send texts like "I miss
you babe or friend" when you miss them. They would
definitely feel more loved.

Here is the chat box!!! Post the problems you are facing in relationship with friends or lovers and solution proferrence to problems by suggestion. Freedom granted!!!


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